Sutan Rajo Amputih - The Roots

My youngest and only brother's wedding!
The buzz words that have been 'haunting' me for the last several months. Finally, we almost got there. All the hectic was actually going into one final direction i.e. how to accomodate the parents' wish to hold a wedding ceremony which is well conducted from religion point of view and, traditions and culture as well. Inheriting the Banten and Padang blood means that all important aspects in those two culture have to be well accomodated. Being the only women sibblings in the family, my sister and I had no choice but try to please the parents in any way possible (remember my motto?, believe that keberkahan mainly comes from in the parents' ridho!). So, there we were, 'trapped' in so many parents' wishes, from rasulan to siraman (this include the number of people who would have to shower my brother, the number of batik cloth needed as the sungkeman mat,etc) ; from wedding dress to pelaminan; from Babako to manjanpuik marapulai ceremony; from pasumandan to kecapi suling; from songket to kain lereng sunda.

To make the list longer, the bako (family from my father's side) wished to bestow a custom and traditional title as being a padangnese man, my brother also deserved such title. You wouldn't believe if I tell you that they even held a special meeting to decide which title would be best fitted to my brother. Althought this was not the first time I encounter this bestowal of title, I did not know that the decision was based on a very thorough consideration by taking into account the historical background and the roots of our forefathers and ancestors. Finally they decided to bestow a title called " Sutan Rajo Amputih". Rajo means the king, Amputih means the person who has the lightest complexion which is undoubtedly the case with my brother. They said that somewhere along the way we got some blood drop from the middle east, wallahualam. In west Sumatranese tradition, once a man gets married, he is entitled to a traditional custom title. It implies that the man has already been considered as a full-fledged grown-up, and ready to carry a bigger responsibility. Quite a deep value, I suppose. Kete' banamo, gadang bagala....

There are so many noble values in our traditions that lay the foundation of the strong traditions and customs. As today's generation, we often take it for granted and consider it as irrational and irrelevant to today's modern life. I just realized that if we just want to spend a few time understanding the background of each custom, we would be aware that what our ancestors tried to convey was that we inherit very noble values that in fact could be used as our life guidance. They also wanted us to be proud of our 'being', our civilization! We should be proud being a padangnese, sundanese, javanese, ambonese, as..the Indonesians as well. Another interesting finding was the philosophy of kain batik. Why it is always there in every segment of the wedding ceremony? We could find it in siraman, sungkeman (as the mat), and of course in the wedding dress itself. Kain batik reflects our soul that we carry from the day we were born 'till the day we pass away. That's why it is highly recommended that we always have at least 7 pieces of kain batik for every 'episode' of our life.

Some of you might still remember the old TV serial called "The Roots" back in the eighties. It revealed a story about a young African American man who traced his ancestors and forefathers: the first batch of African who landed on the American continent as slaves. His strong intention to discover his forefathers was based on the consideration that he needed to discover his 'being', his roots and the values they inherited. He needed the inherited values as the 'lighthouse' for his future life.

With today's borderless and global environment, our children are excessively exposed to various global values, most of them might not be compatible to ours. That's why it is important for us to introduce them to their own origin and values. On a recent visit to Monas with my children, I intended to expose them to who their roots really are. They needed to know that behind all the conveniences and 'luxury' they enjoy now were the flood of blood of their forefathers. Gajah Mada, Pangeran Diponegoro, Imam Bonjol, Sultan Agung, Ki Hajar Dewantara, Bung Karno, Sutan Syahrir.....were to name a few. I have a strong wish that someday my kids will shed tears singing the Indonesia Raya in other continents, just like exactly what I experienced when celebrating the 50th Independence day in Den Haag, Sumpah Pemuda in Santiago, Chile and Hari Pahlawan in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I also wish that they would not be able to finish all line in the song called Tanah Air for being already overwhelmed by the pride and nationalism feeling.

If about six months ago, I still considered all these traditional wedding ceremonies as being irrational and irrelevant to today's modern life, now everything comes into senses. If once I wished someday I would have a simple and 'minimalist' wedding ceremony for my sons (coba ya harre gene udh mikirin mantu!), now I totally changed my mind! What's wrong with having siraman, what's wrong with being bestowed with a custom title, what's wrong with having a babako ceremony?? I wish my sons would be titled as Sutan Rajo Api (the same title bestowed to their grandfather) or Sutan Paduko Sati (the same title bestowed to their great grandfather) or any other distinguished title such as Sutan Rangkayo Basa, not a bad title at all...I suppose. Now I even start counting how many kain batik I have in my collections as we'll never know when we would need it.

Discovering the roots is about discovering ourselves and all noble values behind. We dont want our children's generation ending up not knowing who their roots are, to what civilization they belong to, and what values they possess. Don't try to scrub out the roots from the children's mind. There's nothing to be proud of if the children could easily memorize the name of 50 states in the US rather than the names of volcanoes spread across the Indonesian archipelago. There's nothing to be proud of if the children prefer wearing the halloween custome rather than teluk belango or beskap. Someday, they must be proud declaring that yes...I'm proud being a javanese, I'm proud being a sundanese, I'm proud being a padangnese...I'm proud being an Indonesian! As for me, at least there was a substantial amount of pride when my youngest son, Nara, recently said: I'm a Javanese because I like tempe goreng anget-anget, siji, loro, telu, papat,limo....... At least he's aware why he has Hardono as his last name!

Tanah airku tidak kulupakan, kan terkenang selama hidupku, biarpun saya pergi jauh tidak kan hilang dari kalbu.....(for those of you who still live overseas, try sing this song, and tell me if you can finish all the lines, the thing which I've never been able to do if being abroad)